Accidental Journey
by mokamon
Summary: Contrary to popular hopes and dreams, being thrown into a video game isn't as exciting as most would think.
1. New game start!

**I started writing a self insert like 3 or so years ago? It was gross though and I updated like twice a year because I was super lazy and wasn't exactly sure what I was doing, but now I do sorta know what I'm doing with the story! ****I know there's legit dozens upon dozens of Symphonia inserts, but one more can't hurt, right? Right. **ouo Hopefully this'll be more enjoyable than the first time I tried writing it because I was certainly more relaxed writing it this time.

* * *

It's too hot.

…Way too hot.

I'm sweaty all over. My head feels wet…my clothes, too. It's like I jumped into a pool with all my clothes on. It didn't do much to cool me down.

It's so hot that I feel light headed. It's the type of heat that actually makes your body hurt and your lungs tense and burn because the air is too humid for them. You breathe slower and deeper because it feels better that way, rather than having quick bursts of warm air in your lungs.

I think that's what I'm doing. Breathing slow enough that maybe my lungs aren't getting enough air. Everything feels tense and painful because it's like I'm not breathing-

I'm not breathing.

I can't breathe.

Oh god, _I'm not breathing._

The instant 'oh god, oh no, I don't want to die,' panic hits me like a brick wall and I'm trying to pull myself to sit up straight and cough as hard as I can before I realize I'm already coughing up water. Someone keeps me from sitting completely up right, but they do help me stay up while I lean to the side and try coughing up more of what tastes like salt water.

Jesus Christ, did I almost drown?

My body's in too much shock to let my brain think past that. My stomach heaves once or twice while I cough, and all I can do is hope I don't start throwing up anything other than water. I don't know if there's any more water in my lungs, but I keep coughing as hard as I can because I'm terrified and I don't want to drown, I don't want to not be able to breathe, and I don't want to die.

"You're alright," a man with a familiar voice tells me. "You can breathe now. Take a slow, deep breath."

Easier said than done. I'm still panicking. The best I can manage is taking short, quick breaths, boarding on hyperventilating. My arms are shaking so much I can't keep my upper body up anymore and I lay down on my stomach, keeping my face out of the sand I happen to be on.

How did I get to the beach?

"Jeez- is she going to be okay?" A teenage boy asks from close by.

"She's breathing now, I'm sure she'll be fine," a woman to my right says. "There should be a towel in my bag, go get it for her."

"Ah, right!" Sand shifts and the boy's footsteps stomp a ways away, probably to where the woman's bag is.

"We need to get her sitting up now," the man speaks to the woman.

A slender hand touches my shoulder, softly pushing me back to get my face out of the sand. They help me sit right and once I am I pull my knees up, loosely wrapping my arms around them and resting my forehead on my knees. I'm shaking hard; my stomach feels painfully empty; my throat hurts; my head feels ready to explode and-

I must have been in the ocean because I am soaking wet and there is a chunk of seaweed on my lap.

Well, isn't this an _interesting_ Monday.

As far as I remember I wasn't swimming before I passed out. In fact, I wasn't anywhere near a beach - the closest beach to my house is about an hour away. Even though randomly passing out is kind of a common thing for me, no one would take me to the beach, especially not when I was the only one home at the time. My dad and brother were at an appointment, and my mother and other brother were at work and university. I was supposed to work today, but it ended up being so quiet that they didn't need me in the store which meant I got the day to do what I please.

I was going to ignore some homework by playing a game I'd recently started. I was just about to put the game disk into the Wii, but there was already a game in it, so I ejected that game disk and then…I can't exactly remember. I think there was a bang. There was some loud noise (it totally wasn't me screaming), a freakishly bright light, and a lot of pain. That's something I definitely remember. There was far too much pain and everything still hurts a bit; that might just be the shock of almost drowning still talking.

I sigh deeply, letting my shoulders slump as I close my eyes. Is there somewhere I could sleep before calling my parents to come get me? I'm exhausted and I'd really love to sleep some.

"Are you alright now?" The woman asks me. She's close, sitting right beside me and patting my back very softly. I swear I know her voice, too. The teacher tone she has is hitting my elementary memories hard.

"Mm-hmm," I hum quietly, nodding my head. If I start talking I'm going to start coughing again. I'll just keep quiet for now.

"Here's the towel, Professor," the teenager is back, sounding less worried than before. I guess the woman here is some college Professor? Maybe the teenager isn't really a teenager then…

The Professor puts the towel around my shoulders as she speaks to the boy. "Thank you, Lloyd."

I open my eyes and stare at my lap intently as the teenager talks.

"No problem, Professor Raine." I'm holding my breath now, hoping this isn't actually real. "Oh, Kratos, I hope you don't mind I got a towel from your bag too, for Genis."

I hear a small, quiet, "Hmph," to my left and can imagine the man shaking his head.

"He said to give it to her," the boy continues, referring to yours truly. "But he needed one too, the dork."

This is not happening, I'm not where I think I am; I'm just dreaming a very, very vivid dream.

"Oh, thank you for making him take it," the Professor thanks. "Honestly, I don't understand why he tries to make himself sick."

The boy lets out a quiet chuckle before asking, "So…are you okay now?"

After a minute of silence, it dawns on me that he's actually speaking to me.

Oh…_shit_.

As I slowly and reluctantly raise my head, my answer of, 'Yes, I'm fine just get me the fuck out of Tales of Symphonia', promptly dies in my throat when I see that Lloyd, Kratos and Raine are all staring at me.

They're actually right here, right beside me. All decked out in their outfits of too much red; too many belts; and bright orange teacher robes. Both Kratos' and Lloyd's hair are still defying gravity and Raine's hair is that shade of silver that just shouldn't be natural for someone as young as her. But of course, it is.

They're right front of me and _alive_ and- _and what is going on?_

In my dazed stupor, wondering where I am, what's happened to me, and why the hell Tales of Symphonia characters are staring at me, what's the first tongue-tied thing I say to Lloyd-frickin'-Irving?

"What the hell just happened?"

I am the best at first impressions, someone give me my trophy.

There's a moment's pause before someone speaks and in that pause I'm very tempted to run right back into the water and actually drown myself. I think the only thing keeping me sitting is the fact that I'm somehow now in a video game and just said a very stupid thing to Lloyd-frickin'-Irving.

"You should go check on Colette," Kratos' one visible eyebrow is slightly raised at my choice of words as he speaks to Lloyd. "Make sure she's not feeling as ill as she was earlier."

Lloyd pauses for a second, still taken aback from my sudden, somewhat vulgar response. "Shouldn't we bring her to the camp? It's warmer over there with the fire and everything; doesn't she need to get dry too?"

"Kratos and I will help her to the camp when she's ready to walk," Raine tells Lloyd, giving me a look that I read as 'Is that alright with you?'. I nod timidly, holding on to the edges of the towel Lloyd got me, nervous to be alone with Raine and Kratos.

Raine continues, "Go make sure Colette is feeling well and that Genis is getting dry."

Lloyd, I swear to God, if you leave me alone with these two I'm not going to like you as much as I like you when you're…not a real person.

"…Okay," he says hesitantly, giving me a small shrug before trotting back to their camp a few meters to the left.

It's official; virtual Lloyd Irving is better than real life Lloyd Irving.

No- I mean- virtual Lloyd Irving is better than _dream_ Lloyd Irving. Because this is a _dream_ and will stay a _dream_ until I wake up, and then it'll just be a really cool story to tell friends.

Except it's not really cool, because I don't want to be in a _VIDEO GAME_.

"Can you remember anything that happened to you?" Raine asks, her brows furrowed in some slight frustration. I'm not sure if it's due to worry about me, or Colette who's not feeling good, or to the fact that I might've said 'hell' a minute or two ago, but it's probably somewhat my fault. "Why were you in the water with all your things?"

My things? Last I checked the only thing I had on me was my iPod, and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't really last in the water.

"What things?" I wonder, taking a glance around to see if I can find anything Earth-like. Unfortunately - possibly fortunately as well seeing as I don't exactly want to explain Earth-like things - the only thing around us is sand, sand, sand and more sand. And water. And sand.

"Your bags and weaponry," Kratos clarifies. "It's fortunate that most your items stayed in your bags even though they'll most likely be water damaged."

Bags? Items? _Weaponry?_ I had bags with items in them? I had a weapon? You can't even legally carry guns around where I live, so what is he talking about? Plus, I'd be far too terrified to actually own any weapon of any kind, let alone carry it around with me!

Well shit, what am I supposed to say? I can't just tell them, 'oh, I'm from another world, you're all actually part of this really cool story — can I have your autographs?'

'_Just tell them you don't remember things at the moment.'_

I freeze solid when another person, whose voice I _know_ doesn't belong to any character in Symphonia, starts talking. Who the hell is that and why is no one else looking for this disembodied voice?

'_Because only you can hear me. Now do what I tell you,'_ the person, a young man by the sound of their voice, orders me. '_Shake your head a little, put your hand to your forehead and take a deep breath.'_

_'Who-?'_

_'Do it now!'_

I flinch when he yells at me, but quickly do as the random man told me to do. It doesn't take a lot of effort for me to pull it off and look convincing as I honestly am exhausted and really, really terrified. My hands are shaking when I thump my forehead into my palms, and my breath quivers too.

'_Tell them you're not sure what happened, that everything is a blur right now.'_

"I'm not… I'm not really sure what happened," I repeat back to Raine, letting out another heavy sigh. "Everything's kind of messed up."

Kratos' persistent gaze is almost burning at my neck, and Raine's frown (of worry? Of skepticism?) doesn't ease my nervousness of this situation I've been suddenly forced into.

"Why don't we get you dry and comfortable for now then," Raine suggests after exchanging a glance or two with Kratos. I can actually feel their uncertainty towards who the hell I am, but I guess that caring, motherly part of Raine, and the fatherly part of Kratos (however buried it might be at the moment), is slightly winning over the both of them.

"Okay… Sorry for being a bother. And thank you," I say, despite my inner annoyance at the situation as I stare at my shoes which I don't ever remember owning. Everything I'm wearing isn't mine as far as I remember actually. I don't own brown traveler's boots, or this brown jacket, or this blue shirt or these dark blue, baggy pants. I guess these are adventurer's clothes? Complimentary you've-been-tossed-into-a-game clothing?

'_It's all made of material commonly found in Sylvarant, unlike polyester.'_

Of course. The voice knows all.

"It's not a problem, dear," Raine assures me quickly (Kratos made one of those annoyed grunts of his again). "There isn't anything to apologize for."

"…Okay." There's already one girl apologizing non-stop, Raine obviously doesn't need another one around. I'll quit with the guilt words while I'm ahead. "But, still, thank you both very much for helping me."

"If you wish to thank anyone, you might want to thank the young boy over there," Kratos nods over to the camp where a damp Genis, wrapped in a thin towel sits by the camp fire. "He was the one who pulled you out of the water."

Doki, doki, Genis you've stolen my heart you little munchkin.

No, not really, but he's getting a lot of "thank you"s and hugs when I can think and speak coherently around these people who aren't suppose to be real.

"Before we get you moving too much, are you injured anywhere?" Raine asks me.

"The back of my head hurts. It's kind of pounding…a lot." I admit. I must have hit it when I passed out at home; now I have an ever growing headache.

The Professor takes a look at the spot on my head as I nervously fiddle with my hands. "That's quite a large bruise. I'm not surprised if that's what knocked you unconscious while you were in the water."

"Probably…" I pretend to agree.

I hold my breath again when Raine raises her staff and calls out, "First Aid." A soft blue glow shimmers around the head of staff for a moment before it fades, taking away most of the pain and leaving me feeling all fuzzy. The spell has this warm, prickling feeling to it, oddly enough. Like running hot water over your hand after you've been out in the snow for a while. Just a weird…fuzzy feeling.

Magic is so weird.

"Better?" Raine asks as she puts her staff down.

I nod. While the majority of the pain is gone, my head is still thumping, and my ears are now ringing, but that's probably just because of the magic. I'm sure my headache will disappear in a few minutes.

"Thank you, m-…ma'am." Wow, that sounded so very awkward and forced.

Raine shakes her head. "My name is Raine. And so you know, Genis, the boy who helped you is my younger brother."

"Oh. Well that's handy to know." I turn to the mercenary with us, squinting my eyes at the bright setting sun. My head is still thumping; is magic supposed to lessen, or worsen headaches? "And you're Kratos, right?"

He nods, so obviously impressed with my scholar like reasoning skills.

"So, that other kid," I go on, attempting to ignore my throbbing headache. "The boy who brought the towel…?"

"Lloyd." Raine tells me. "He's one of my students, as are Genis and Colette."

I frown. "Colette?"

"She is the Chosen One," Kratos clarifies . "She's feeling rather ill tonight, though, so let her rest."

"Th-the Chosen?" I let my jaw drop and my eyes grow wide in false surprise. More sunlight gets into my eyes and that causes my headache to worsen. "You guys- you're the Chosen's group?"

Pretending I'm from Sylvarant should be okay. It'd be easier to act like that's the truth rather than to tell them the actual truth. I'm not letting them know I'm from another world that isn't Tethe'alla. Even Kratos would think I'm crazy, which is something I'm starting to believe as well; being in a video game and hearing voices is not a good sign of mental stability.

Raine nods. "We are. The Chosen received the oracle and she's already released one seal."

That's why Colette is sick tonight! She's going through that shitty trial where she loses her senses. If they just finished the first seal that means she can't taste anymore, right? I always forget if she looses the ability to taste or sleep first. Gosh, what an upsetting time to join, right when Colette starts going through all this pain…

I sigh, hoping I sound more relieved than I feel. "That's- that's wonderful! I'd heard that the oracle had come, but I didn't see it for myself so I wasn't sure. It came about a week or two ago, right?" If we're just outside the first seal, I'm guessing that it takes longer than a few minutes to get from Iselia to Triet in real life rather than in the game.

Getting to his feet and dusting off his pants with a quick swipe of his hand, Kratos informs me, "The Chosen received the oracle a little over two weeks ago. Now, it would be prudent if we made our way to camp; unless you want to catch a cold."

Nope, don't want that. My headaches can get unbearable sometimes when I'm sick, and with this headache right now I wouldn't want it getting any worse. I can start hallucinating when I get sick, which does me no good when I can't think past "oh why god, why".

It actually takes me a few tries to stand up, only succeeding with Kratos' help as he pulls me up with one hand. I stumble ever so gracefully a few steps before Raine catches me, holding on to my shoulders while I try to stop everything from spinning. I wonder how I'll be able to walk to Triet. I'm worried that I'll pass out either from heat stroke or from this headache.

For a moment I think I can stand; I think I can walk; I think I can actually do something that doesn't require much effort. Then the throbbing pain in my head becomes too much and my shaking legs give out. My head is pounding so hard I can't see straight; I'm even hyperventilating again.

Letting the towel that was around my shoulders drop, I fall to the soft sandy ground. While everything goes dark for the second time today, all I can think of is how I really should have done my homework first today.


	2. Guidelines

**chapter two, hurrah, hurray! I've told myself that I'm only allowed to post a chapter when I've got at least half of the next one done, so hopefully I won't have months and months and months in between each update. This chapter is really just about our unfortunate protag going "aw fuck no" and figuring out that she's in this thing for the long haul. Lots and lots of talking and inner monologue swearing.**

**I wrote the majority of this in one sitting yesterday, which is quite surprising! I like longer chapters, though, so it was actually going to be about a 10k chapter, but I decided to split it in to two chapters so it wasn't such a sudden switch from 3k words to 10k. Even though I'd like to have an average of about 10k for most chapters, I probably won't post long chapters like that until we get into double digits. Why? I dunno. It feels right this way -u-**

* * *

My eyes open so quickly that if it were possible, my eyelids would have whiplash.

It takes a few minutes for my brain to process things while I stare blankly at the ceiling. Remember…remember… Where am I? There's a ceiling instead of open skies above me, so I'm in some room obviously. Not my own room, unfortunately, but at least it's somewhere in a town. Someone must have carried me here after I passed out again.

The dusty brown ceiling above me and the lumpy bed I'm currently lying on are much more calming to wake up to rather than the sudden realization that my lungs were full of water. Much comfier too, I might add. Even though the mattress is fairly rough and bumpy, I'd rather wake up in a bed wherever I happen to be instead of at a beach.

I sit up slowly, sighing at the headache I still have. The pain from the bruise is all gone, but my eyes hurt and there's a lot of pressure in my head. It would probably do me good to get some proper sleep, but…I need to get out of here. Who knows what will happen if what I remember was actually real or what will happen to me if I stick around to find out. Getting out of here and finding a way home are my only priorities. I don't want to know if this is real, or if it's a dream, or just some really detailed joke; I just need to get home.

Throwing the thin blankets to the end of the bed, I swing my legs off it, gasping at the sandy floor. Since the window is open (there aren't any shutters for it, actually), it wouldn't surprise me if the wind carried all the sand in. Beside the window is a small desk with a bag and a cylinder container laying on top of it. The boots I was wearing earlier are also by the desk, sitting just under the window. Both shoes are probably filled with sand now.

I make my way to the other side of the room to look out the window, running a hand through my hair as I frown at what I see. The main market street I have a view of is quieting down, people are getting ready to go to home for the night as the cold starts to replace the burning heat of the day. This sand filled town that stretches out before me can't help but reminded me of Agraba in Aladdin. I half expect to see a teenager with a monkey running from soldiers until I realize that that's another fictional world I don't want to be a part of.

If I wasn't on the second floor I'd have half a mind to jump out the window and just run. Where to? I don't know or particularly care at the moment. I just really don't want to get caught up with these people or this world or anything to do with anything that isn't Earth. Getting pulled into magic and sword fights and angels is not something I want to be able to put on a résumé. Mostly because people would think I'm insane.

Y'know, dropping from two stories wouldn't be that bad. There's sand at the bottom that would cushion the fall, right?

I lean against the wall between the desk and the window, slowly sliding down until I'm sitting with my knees pulled up to my chest. I couldn't be more uncomfortable if I tried, but I'll keep like this to stop myself from screaming my lungs out and possibly terrifying most of Triet's population.

This _can't_ actually be happening, can it? Being pulled into a video game doesn't literally happen to people. Wolf Blitzer has never had a story: "Today in the Situation Room: Two Florida teenagers finally made it out of The Last Story after years of adventure, but how are their families dealing with their return now that they have to take all the gym equipment out of their remodeled rooms? And, one young man is causing havoc around town museums as he keeps lighting paintings aflame with the Fire Flower he still has from his time in Super Mario 64."

No. These things don't happen to people and they never will; I am not here right now. I'm still at home, mom will be back soon, she'll give me heck for not taking care of myself again, take me to the doctors, etc., etc. I just have to wake up for real…

I clench my eyes as tight as I can, until it hurts and I'm seeing spots dance behind my eyelids, and then open them wide.

The boringly brown and sandy room stares back at me. Still in the room in Triet.

Dammit.

Fine! I'll play along for a while. A little while only, though. Let me meet Lloyd properly, get a quick hug, and then I'm waking up. I refuse to be a part of this story in any way shape or form other than pushing buttons and screaming at some character or another for not being able to cook a simple sandwich.

I'm about to stand again when I fist my hand on my thigh to push myself up, but my heart leaps out of my throat and I suddenly can't think of anything other than 'get this the fuck off me', when I see the back of my left hand. Or more precisely, what's _on_ the back of my left hand.

A gold oval with runes engraved on it sits on my hand, circling around a small yellow-green gem.

Why do I have a key crest and an exsphere?

The knee-jerk reaction I have to ripping the gem off isn't unlike grabbing a bug that's landed on your arm. It's disgusting, it's vile, it's someone's life, someone is dead because of this, someone-

"You'll want to put that back on in a minute."

I let out a small scream and drop the exsphere at the sudden voice. My hands clamp over my mouth to stifle anymore of my loud noises as I stare wide-eyed across the room at the young man now sitting on the bed I was sleeping in not five minutes ago. He doesn't look much older than my brother who's in his early 20's. This guy's even lanky like my brother, he hasn't grown into his own arms and legs yet. His button down shirt and black khaki's make him look like he just got off work from waitering at some fancy restaurant.

The blond man points lazily at the gem on the floor. "As much as it disgusts you and I both, you'll need that. I suggest putting it back on."

"Who the _fuck_ are you?" My elegance knows no bounds.

The still unknown man heaves a dramatic sigh. "You bring a kid into their favourite game and they repay you with vulgar language. I certainly don't deserve this, do I?"

It takes literally five seconds for me to puzzle out the pieces and when I do, my language becomes vulgar enough that the sailors in Palmacosta would be covering their mouths in shame.

"…Who are you?" I seethe after ranting more various swears at the man who instructed me when I first started speaking with Raine and Kratos back at the beach.

"You can call me Ethan, miss needs-a-bar-of-soap," he finally introduces himself.

"Okay, Ethan, why and how the hell were you speaking to me when we were at the beach?"

His face scrunches awkwardly and his shoulders raise, like he were trying to hide. "Eeeugh, no difficult questions right now. I'm just here to tell you some quick simple things before you see the others."

"One of those things better be 'you're in a coma, but you'll wake up to shitty hospital pudding in ten minutes', otherwise I'm going to scream."

He pushes the sleeves of his collared shirt up. "I don't exactly like telling lies, but okay. You're in a coma, but you'll wake up to shitty hospital pudding in ten minutes."

I clap vigorously. "Great! It was nice meeting you Ethan, see you in whatever mental institute I end up at."

"Trenton is apparently a nice one, they cover your dental," he mentions matter-of-factly. The unamused glare I give doesn't faze him in the slightest. "You really should put your exsphere back on though, sweetheart."

"Tell me why I'm here, why Sylvarant is suddenly real and why you were able to talk to me in my head," I demand, still not touching the gem.

Ethan groans, throwing his head back. "Think of me as…the Tales of Symphonia game disks."

I frown. "You've got to be kidding me."

"That's the best I'm giving you for now. I'm bored and want something different to happen this play through, so you get to be the pawn!"

"…You have _got_ to be kidding me," I repeat, my frown deepening.

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it for now," he holds up his hands for a moment as if to surrender. "Now will you put your exsphere back on? You'll get quite the headache if you don't."

I keep staring at him skeptically as I finally grab the gem off the floor, reluctantly placing it back on my hand. It feels like it literally sinks into my skin and I can't help but gag at the feeling, shivers running through my body and all.

"Why do I need this?" I ask. "Other than to help me fight, which I won't be doing."

"It's basically just for that, and to help with your mana," he explains. "You don't have a lot of it since you're from Earth, so the exsphere gives you more power so you can…well function in the world."

While that is pretty handy, I still don't want it. It doesn't even look right! The key crest looks like a backwards 9 with the small hook-tail that stretches to my wrist, and the exsphere is this gross yellow-green. Is it a defect maybe? Why would he give me a defect?

…I don't want it.

"Now!" He claps, getting my attention. "On to the things I was actually planning on telling you. I've got some guidelines that might help you out while you're here-"

"I don't want to be here-"

"-And do I care? No, not particularly. I'd rather be in Disney Land or something equally as mind boring, but I'm stuck here as well, so tough shit for us."

What a fucking _asshole_.

I huff angrily. "So what are these rules or whatever?"

"Not rules, I really don't care if you decide to mess up so badly that the worlds can't be reunited," he explains, flippantly tossing his hand about. "Just guidelines that might help you not…not reunite the worlds."

Wait, he's giving me free rein to literally do whatever I please? That's a bit different. I thought there was this ever unbending rule of 'follow the story exactly as it's supposed to go or you're on a one way trip to shit hit the fan and you killed everyone'.

"The most important one, and the only one I'm going to actually enforce, is to keep your exsphere," he warns me sternly. "Like I said, you don't have a lot of mana compared to pretty much every other person in Sylvarant and Tethe'alla; you literally need that thing to stay alive."

Goddammit.

"The rest of this I don't care if you listen to or if you even want to hear it. Do you want to? Because if you don't I could leave. I'd rather leave. Triet makes me sweat too much."

"What are the guidelines?" I ask with a heavy sigh.

"_Fiiiiiiiine," _he huffs as he ruffles his hair. He holds up a finger for each of his points, "It should be obvious, but this isn't a game; if you die, you die, and you're not going home. End of story, no extra lives. You have limited mana. You'll need to watch your usage when fighting otherwise you'll be passing out when a Ladybug is trying to kill you. And, as precaution, really, do whatever you please, but try and not tell the others about Tales of Symphonia. I shouldn't have to explain why."

I raise an eyebrow at the short list. "That's it?"

The man shrugs. "To be honest it's more than I actually _needed_ to tell you. The only real important thing was about your exsphere and mana. As long as you keep that on, I literally could not care what you mess up."

I love how he's already assuming I'm going to follow along with the group and mess things up. If he doesn't care what I do then I'm just going to live my life in this room until Lloyd gets the Eternal Sword. It'll be awkward and probably won't work well, but once he's got that I'll just tell him I'll make him some beef curry if he promises to send me to Earth. Beef curry wins everyone over, this'll be a fool proof plan.

"Oh!" Ethan's snap of his fingers catches my attention again. "You have to follow along with Lloyd and the others, otherwise you'll never get home, and, and, _and,_ you might be seen as a bit of a half-elf. Those were the other important things."

God fucking _dammit_.

"Seriously?" I stare blankly at him. "You seriously decided to drop those two _very important _things on me like they're as normal as the sky being blue?"

"I could give you a CNN Breaking News Coverage about them, but it's a little hard to find a Walmart so I can get you a TV in Sylvarant," he snidely tells me. "Any other questions?"

"No, actually, this talk has been really insightful, thank you so much for all this info," I thank him dramatically, enthusiasm dripping from my voice.

"Great," he says, standing up from the bed. He's actually pretty tall, probably as tall as Kratos. "Then I'm going to-"

"Sit back down before I kick you so hard you can't have children," I snap, finally standing up as well. I keep a hand against the wall to make sure I stay steady; my legs are shaking again. "You can't honestly think that'd I'd be happy with those answers."

He rolls his blue eyes. "It was worth a shot."

"No! No wasn't! You brought me into a fictional world without any reason! How the hell did you even do that? How the hell is Sylvarant real? How am I in a video game? And what do you mean I 'might be a half-elf'?! These things don't just happen- the universe is a boring place, this shouldn't be happening, how is this all real, how-?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, turn down the volume, air horn," he hushes me. "Look, things happen, the universe gets interesting, Sylvarant and Tethe'alla have always been real, I altered the mana in your blood so you'll be a half-elf to those who can sense it, and I really did bring you here for a purpose."

"And what the hell would that be?"

"I already told you. I'm bored of this story and want something different to happen this time."

I slam my hands to my face in an effort to not scream. "That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard, and I have friends that are stoners so that's saying something."

"Yes, it says; don't do drugs; your stoner friends must be really boring; don't die while you're here; and don't remove your exsphere."

A hand clamps down on my shoulder and I jerk back, hitting my shoulder against the wall. I glower at him. "Piss. Off."

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm not going to hurt you," he keeps his hands in the air again. "I just want you to know that I'll stick around for you, alright? Anytime you need me, have any questions, or just want someone to let that vulgar tongue go off on, you can yell at me."

"That's great and all, but I don't exactly want you here right now."

He sighs dramatically yet again, lowering his arms. "Alright, I'll get out of your face. Before you leave the room, though, you'll want to look at the stuff I packed for your journey." He nods his head towards the desk beside me and all the items on it. "I was very generous, y'know."

My gaze slowly leaves him as I turn to the desk. The bag is the biggest mystery at the moment so I'll start with that. I unbuckle the small flap and loosen the pull string to trifle through the excess of items. There's 5 apple and orange gels, neatly labeled in their tiny glass containers; two Life Bottles; a spare change of clothing; a few hard leather arm braces; a small book titled "Sylvarant: An outline to History", and another small pouch crammed away in the corner of everything. When I touch it, a small _ching _echoes. Oh, he gave me cash. I grab the small pouch, surprised at the weight, and loosen the pull string on it as well. Various sizes of silver and bronze coins sit in the small bag that fits in my hand.

'_There's about 10,000 gald in there.' _Ethan tells me, once again speaking in my head. I look over my shoulder to see that I'm alone in the room. How did he...? _'Each large silver coin is worth 1000, small are 500. Each large bronze is 100 and the small ones are 50.'_

My mouth falls open and I almost drop the coin purse. "Are you serious? Isn't it a little weird that I'd be carrying so much?"

'_10,000 gald isn't all that much in Sylvarant. It's pretty much the same as having $1,000 on Earth. Things are priced much higher here.'_

Well there goes my mood. Here I thought I was rich, but now I've got less money than I actually have saved up at home. At least it'll cover the cost for the room. And I _do_ have to hand it to him, all this stuff is pretty handy, especially the book. Although it's no Steven King novel, I'm sure it's got enough information for me to not seem like the biggest recluse in all of Sylvarant.

'_It's got a basic outline of the most important historical events in Sylvarant. They're things even Lloyd would know.'_

Meaning I _have_ to read up on them. Great. Homework, just what I wanted.

I'll look into that later. There's still that random cylinder sitting on the desk. It's about as long as my arm, has a strap connected to it, and made of some hard leather. Things clatter around inside of it when I pick up the rather light object, yanking on yet another pull string to see the mystery inside.

My frown is more than understandable when I realize there's about three dozen arrows in the quiver. That explains the arm braces. I search around the room for the bow to go with these arrows, finding it leaning against the wall by my bed. It's a simple straight bow with no markings or designs of any kind on the body.

Points to Ethan for knowing that I've been taking archery lessons twice a week for the past few years, but I'm still not happy seeing these. This means the others have seen me with all this and now they're thinking that I'm probably somewhat capable of fighting with a bow and arrow. I can shoot, sure, but fighting is another matter.

'_Really though?' _I ask. _'Why an archer? Why couldn't I have a sword or…a gun, or something?'_

_'Because you've never held either of those weapons. At least with this you can look like you can protect yourself.'_

I place the quiver back down on the desk. He's got a point; it would take forever and a day for me to learn how to properly wield a sword, and I'm not sure I could ever muster up enough courage to hold a gun, let alone use one on a person.

The wooden door to the room creaks open and I feel the blood drain from my face. My heart is pounding in my throat as young boy dressed in blue with hair as white as the Professor's stands in the door way, looking confused at the empty bed. He scans the room, finding me at the desk and the confusion changes to surprise.

"You're finally awake!" The emptiness of the room causes Genis' relieved voice to echo a bit. "Are you feeling okay?"

I'm feeling ready to throw up, which is stupid. He's a twelve year old kid and my legs won't stop shaking! I'm not scared of Genis, I admire the little guy, I'm just terrified of the fact that he's here and I'm here and that he's an actual living being now.

"…Is everything all right?" His silver mane pops up in front of me as he tries to get my attention.

"Y-yeah!" I yelp, taking a step back. He's so small, more than a head shorter than me and I wonder how often Lloyd picks on him for being so little. "Sorry, I'm still waking up."

He nods understandably. "That's not surprising; you were out for almost two days."

"Are you serious?" I gape at him.

"Yeah. We were all pretty worried, but Raine said your mana was probably the reason since it was so weak. I can tell it's gotten a lot stronger now, though."

Two days. I've already been here for two days. My parents have been worried sick for two days. I've been in Sylvarant for _two days_.

I'm going to _murder_ Ethan.

"By the way," Genis' talking keeps me from thinking too much. "My sister - the woman who healed you - said she never had the chance to ask you your name before you passed out."

"Oh! I guess not, huh." I'm pretty sure Raine was starting to ask me my name just before I passed out, but it's a bit hazy. "She told me all of your names, but mine's Crystal."

"Genis." He holds his hand out and I try not to laugh when I shake his hand. The absurdity of all of this will kill me long before anything else does. "Have you been awake for long?"

I shake my head. "I got up maybe five minutes ago." Alright, maybe I've been awake for at least a half hour, but he doesn't need to know that.

"Would you like to come down now then?" He jerks his thumb towards the door. "I'm sure the others would want to see that you're awake and not in a coma or anything."

"Maybe in a little bit. I'm…still trying to get my bearings together, y'know?"

Genis is quiet for a moment and I have to say, being scrutinized by a kid almost five years younger than me is uncomfortable. There's no doubt he really was raised by Raine; the uncertainty on his face is clear as day.

"I'll go and let everyone know you're awake, at least," he says, already starting towards the door. "We'll just be downstairs in the common room."

"Sure. I'll be down soon." Jumping out the window is still going down, so I'm not exactly lying. "Oh! Uh, Genis?"

He turns around and I start, "Uh…Kraaaaatos? I think that was the man's name? He said you're the one who found me. I…just wanted to say thank you for saving me."

He lets out a bit of an exasperated sigh. "You're welcome, but what were you doing in the water, anyways? It's dangerous with all the monsters right now!"

Crap. I didn't talk with Ethan about ideas for a plausible story! It's too late for me to try and "I can't remember anything, please help meeeee," my way out of this as well…

"It's. A kind of. Long story," I mutter awkwardly. "I'd rather explain it to you and all of your friends once I get my head together."

"Don't take too long to come down; Raine and Kratos are going to try and bring Colette to a doctor's before it gets too late, so they won't be here for much longer."

Why, why, why, why, why didn't I wake up twenty minutes from now?

"If anything, I can always talk with them when they get back," I suggest, hoping they'll leave before I see them. I need all the time in the world to make up a story that _Kratos_ will believe.

Genis rolls his eyes as he starts towards the door again. "That's the kind of excuse Lloyd would try and make." Oh god, I have to deal with meeting Lloyd, too — why did I have to wake up? "We'll be waiting down stairs when you're ready."

I let out a quiet, "Okay, thanks again," as the little mage leaves the room, closing the door behind him. It's only a few moments before I hear his feet stomp down the stairs and I realize that I must be in the room just at the top of the stairs. Everyone will probably be able to see me the second I leave the room.

Cue an ugly, aggravated groan as I slam my hands to my face for the second time tonight.

'_Would you like some help?' _Ethan kindly offers.

_'Yeah, no shit,' _I sigh inwardly. _'I have a bit of a story, but I'm not sure if it's believable because I don't know enough about Sylvarant.'_

_'I can definitely help in that department. What do you need to know?'_

This better pan out because I haven't been awake long enough to think of anything else and I don't have time to make up my entire pseudo life here. There's too many other things I have to question Ethan about before I even think about meeting the others.

Best to start with the most pressing issue... '_Does Iselia have a shipping port in real life?'_

* * *

**I'm sorry not much really happened this chapter ;u; I really just wanted to introduce Criss' "guide" for her journey cause I've got plans for him euheuheuheuheuhe He's a bit of a jerk, but I hope people won't hate him too much;;;; ****Also Genis. He's my little shota child. shotashotashotashotashota**

**More things are explained/will happen next chapter! Promise, promise, promise**


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